You start with a song. Something, Everyone will soon know. Usually about someone you love or the feeling of being left alone.
She has played it over and over again in her head. Pictures of him soon to be dead.
A pencil and paper are her only comfort, in this time of dieing. One to write her many thoughts. And one to hold her precious memories.
Thinking that he would never know how she really felt. Kept everday a bleeding afternoon, Rain in the morning, and a Gunshot at night.
Monday, January 5, 2009
A christmas Story
While im sitting here waiting all i can do is think of my last memories that i have of you. I have been blessed with loving parents that were willing to take a 15 year old girl into there well dressed home, But its hard for me to realize that my days are now becoming limited. Just the thought of not knowing your faces brings tears to my eyes.
I all started on a cold Day in october. I was placed in a room of white emptyness, almost as if i was in a detectives office in an old black and white film. With only a simple steal grey bed and monitors to keep me company. I can see the Doctors shadows through the cracks of the large black door at the foot of my bed. Three days have passed and i met a very nice man by the name of Dr.Williams. He keeps me involved in many stories and novels that he brings me. As my mind drifts away in the fasinating adventures It keeps me from knowing the real meaning of why im there. On Dec. 25th 1997 Dr.Wiliams presses the horrifying news like a knife through my back. One by one, I find pieces of my longe blonde hair on the tile floor of the room that i have lived in for the past 3 months. As each srand of my beautiful hair that i once new falls slowly to the ground, my last few memories of you drift away. As the long days pass. I simply wait for the two people that i love the most to save me from this nightmare. I can feel the coldness of my brokenheart, as the wind rushes over my bald head.
Tonight, as my life has been on hold for so long i mill finally take one last step into the future that i havent chosen. So I say this as my final goodbye I love you mom and dad.
December 27th 1999 Lilly Raynea Jackson Died Of lukemea. On that saturday morning, when the room that she onced lived in was cleared of all her belongings. Two unlikely visitors appered in the large black door, at the foot of her bed.
I all started on a cold Day in october. I was placed in a room of white emptyness, almost as if i was in a detectives office in an old black and white film. With only a simple steal grey bed and monitors to keep me company. I can see the Doctors shadows through the cracks of the large black door at the foot of my bed. Three days have passed and i met a very nice man by the name of Dr.Williams. He keeps me involved in many stories and novels that he brings me. As my mind drifts away in the fasinating adventures It keeps me from knowing the real meaning of why im there. On Dec. 25th 1997 Dr.Wiliams presses the horrifying news like a knife through my back. One by one, I find pieces of my longe blonde hair on the tile floor of the room that i have lived in for the past 3 months. As each srand of my beautiful hair that i once new falls slowly to the ground, my last few memories of you drift away. As the long days pass. I simply wait for the two people that i love the most to save me from this nightmare. I can feel the coldness of my brokenheart, as the wind rushes over my bald head.
Tonight, as my life has been on hold for so long i mill finally take one last step into the future that i havent chosen. So I say this as my final goodbye I love you mom and dad.
December 27th 1999 Lilly Raynea Jackson Died Of lukemea. On that saturday morning, when the room that she onced lived in was cleared of all her belongings. Two unlikely visitors appered in the large black door, at the foot of her bed.
is it a sign
As i walked down the empty street humming to my self. i saw out of the corner of my eye a leaf simply fall to the cold ground. Its hard to believe that fall is finally here. the mature season of the year. It seems like just yesterday, that i was walking down the hall with you talking about our science test, that we had the next day. The silence of the wind rolling past me keeps me walking forward. Almost as if i was trying to catch it in my bare hands. I soon found myself lost in the endless sea of many thoughts. Those i think are useless of having, as though if they would never bring me to the end of the madness of the world that is standing before me. A few steps later i soon notice a small tree in the distance. Almost as if an angel blessed it with magnificent bueaty. Standing in front of that small elegent tree...made me think about how i was living my life. Am i like the leaf slowly fadeing away not even noticed by the many people who walk by me. As i fall to the Ground. Or like the tree, small yet bueatiful. Showing everyone that there is Hope in the endless road that they walk on.
No were to go
I turn on a light.
and what do i find?
More and more windows. with beautiful designs.
I open each one with a click of a mouse.
I soon found myself looking from the inside out.
THe world at its best.
Not showing the rest.
But look deep inside.
I do suggest.
The hate and tourment of our home.
trampled on and no room to roam.
and what do i find?
More and more windows. with beautiful designs.
I open each one with a click of a mouse.
I soon found myself looking from the inside out.
THe world at its best.
Not showing the rest.
But look deep inside.
I do suggest.
The hate and tourment of our home.
trampled on and no room to roam.
The things she'll never say
sometimes the littlest things in life are the hardest to explain, and the choices you make could be your worse mistake. There are manythings that have been hard for her to put in the past. Trying to focuss on whats new reminds her of what was left behind. She faces her friends with a smile on her face, but The one person that she loves cant even see whats on the other side of her mask. Wanting the best for him, her heart fills with worries for the future. He thinks the worst of her and is clueless of whats going on. Trying to be perfect so she can find herself in his arms once again, makes her the mess she has found her self to be. Just wanting him to listen and see the pieces of her shattered dreams.
kinda new to this...
this is kinda my first time to blog so sorry if im alittle slow at some of the things used on here. anyways to start of my names lauren and im a typical girl im on two diffrent cheerleading squads and i love them both. im not an averge girly girl, i love wakeboarding, i guess im pretty good. im into more of the extreme sports but im a football fan, i cant lie.
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